Rules of Engagement: How Often to Call or Text
E/4:29 Parent-to-Parent
There isn’t a one size fits all when it comes to communication. Every family is different, and what works well for some may not work for others. You know your child best so use that as a starting point if you’re unsure. As you are preparing for August talk about calls, texting, and your expectations. Definitely ask for their input and how they feel. If you start on the same page, then both sides, parents and your student, will be at an advantage.
I’ve had moms tell me they feel lucky to get a proof of life call once a week while others get multiple messages a day. I always enjoyed the calls as my daughter was walking to the bus and just telling me about her day. I also loved the text about random things or to just say “Hi, mom”. I think we have all at some point sent a text and haven’t gotten a response for hours. And then on the flipside, if they text and you haven’t respond in 30 seconds, you start getting, a sequence of “Hey mom, Mom, MOM, MOM MOM, MOTHER MOM MOMA. (Can you relate?!)
If you feel led, send them a short text “Praying for you today” or “Hope you have a great day”, “Good morning, you are loved”. None of those require a response but reminds them that they are loved and prayed for. You may only get a heart or smiley face back, and that is okay. Please know that an emoji doesn’t mean they love you any less. Remember, they are getting used to all new everything: Friends, classes, activities, and freedom. You are also getting used to a different dynamic at home. It will take a little time for a routine to develop. A new “normal” takes a little time for all of us.
“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1). It’s something to keep in mind. When you get a call, you want them to be happy they called you. Prayerfully choose your tone and words if you are feeling a bit frustrated. Instead of saying “It is about time you called”, choose words that are uplifting and encouraging. Words that will build them up and leave them feeling like “I’m so glad I called my mom/dad!”
Remember, “I can do all this through him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13). Wanda B., Graduate
Blessings to all you hear.
E/4:29’s contributing authors are parents of students who are currently enrolled in an undergraduate or graduate degree program at Liberty or have recently graduated. Each month, the Parent-to-Parent blog offers practical tips, helpful guidance, and encouraging wisdom that they may serve you “only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear” (as in, Ephesians 4:29).
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