Letting Go of Micromanaging, Part 3
E/4:29 Parent-to-Parent
We spend 18-25 years (on average) securing the well-being of our children. Then the time comes when we send them off to college, or the military, and have to let go of daily interactions and decisions. It’s a process, not micromanaging anymore, but we can do it! Our students want to know they can make decisions and survive the failures, as much as we want to know that they can. We must have faith in the job that we have done as parents and in the seeds of accountability, responsibility, and decision-making that have been planted. Maybe knowing that we have done as well as we can to teach them how to “adult” is hard to believe. Trust then that God loves our children more than we do and He knows them best. So, we pray, ask for advice from family and friends, and try to navigate this next chapter as partners in their adulthood.
You may have a student that is ready to do most everything on their own and another that still requires a little help. They may need assistance learning how to respectfully advocate for themselves. Maybe you go with him or her to an appointment once as an example or talk with them about how to approach something. Convey your belief in your young adult’s ability to handle hard things. Let them know that you will love them through any setbacks or failures. “But what if I fail, Mom?” “Then you’ll try again or try something else!”
1 John 4:18-19 (NIV) says, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us.” Stacy L., Senior
E/4:29’s contributing authors are parents of students who are currently enrolled in an undergraduate or graduate degree program at Liberty or have recently graduated. Each month, the Parent-to-Parent blog offers practical tips, helpful guidance, and encouraging wisdom that they may serve you “only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear” (as in, Ephesians 4:29).
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