Love is patient, love is kind and love is most certainly not found at first sight. At least, not the kind of true love that will last a lifetime and reflect the love Christ has for the church.
It’s quite easy to get swept up in the idea of romance here at Liberty. The university is not subtle about its matchmaking atmosphere. Advertisements for wedding rings are wedged into bus stops, and the university shamelessly promotes itself as a wedding venue, to say nothing of the breakneck speed at which some marriages actually occur.
It seems we just can’t get away from the ideas of love, marriage and finding that special person as fast as humanly possible.
If then, we are to be thinking about serious love and marriage at our impressionable ages, it is important that we try to understand the nature of God’s perfect love. For if he designed and defined what true love is, then God’s model of love is the only kind worth pursuing.
Thankfully, Jesus has given us many practical examples to draw from. His sacrifice on the cross is the perfect example of how love should be — but it is not the only one, as Christ showed his love for mankind in many other ways, often through servitude.
Perhaps the most poignant example of this (aside from the cross) is the Lord of Hosts stooping low to wash the muck from his disciples’ feet (John 13:1-17). Here, Jesus has set a very clear standard for how we are to love one another: through humble, sacrificial service.
Paul elaborates on this type of love in Philippians 2:1-4, instructing the believers at Philippi to imitate Christ’s humility: to “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” Paul also says, “wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord,” and “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:22, 25).
These verses set a high standard for love: true love is selfless, considerate, sacrificial and serving.
A love that endures then, is slow. Love requires all the work and care of a well-cultivated garden or a strong and beautiful piece of architecture. It is the result of careful, deliberate effort and teamwork.
The best relationships — those that will weather the trials of life and sustain real relational bliss — are those that are based in consistent, caring service modeled after how Christ looks after the church, and with the same devotion we offer the Lord.
This devoted love is built over time. It is not found and pocketed like a quarter in a parking lot.
According to a study on marriage done by Scott Hansen, a scholar at Alliant International University, spending a longer time in the courtship phase leads to a happier and more satisfying marriage.
I believe this fact to be true because the couple has had enough time to lay the foundations of a life together through fellowship and service. The initial romantic “spark” has been built up to a steady flame that will last.
The pastor of my home church, Grace Fellowship, frequently describes this kind of service in his sermons. Rev. Roy Mack says that marriage is not a 50%-50% relationship: viewing marriage as a half-and-half deal is not real love that gives its all. Rather, he says that love is “100% and 100%, (with) both trying to out-serve, not be served.”
Humble love is the result of both husband and wife choosing to forsake themselves for the cultivation of a beautiful relationship. This is the love that echoes Christ’s patient ministry on earth, perseverance in sacrifice and faithfulness in resurrection. Indeed, love is patient, love is kind and true love should be built to last.
Rath is a copy editor for the Liberty Champion.