To Be a College Parent: Be Their Praying Warrior
Whatsoever Series:
Students are about to put into action all the training they’ve heard and seen in their families at home. Parents, are you up to the challenge? You are on the threshold of an updated role, to be revised and refined for the glory of God’s design. If that seems like a heavy statement, then hold on so we can unpack it together and make it easier to carry.
Parents, this is an opportunity to begin a different approach to conversations when wanting to know about your child’s life. The desire to be connected to them doesn’t change when they change their address. But how you connect over a distance can make a huge difference for the good of your relationship. It might feel awkward to change, but it will be totally worth it! Are you ready for the challenge?
One of the more difficult parenting challenges that my husband and I faced wasn’t the schedule for feedings or diaper changes; it wasn’t soccer, track and field, robotics, or musicals; it wasn’t even how we were going to pay for school for them though that was a big one every year. Our biggest challenge was moving away from knowing and being in the regular interactions of our children’s lives. The rhythm of which was much like a steady drumbeat that generated the tempo of our life together.
The most notable change you may experience during this stage of your family’s life may be the flow of communication specifically its direction. They are responsible for planning their agenda, coordinating with others, and getting themselves there and back again. You may be feeling so very proud of them (elated may be a better word) that they are doing it, and yet at the same time, as we did, you may initially struggle with feeling “sidelined.”
We experienced a myriad of feelings, like: being so proud of all they can accomplish and do on their own; sadness that the daily interactions were fewer; fear that interactions would be so distanced that we wouldn’t know their lives anymore; joy and relief that we made it and survived parenting; concern that the next years of empty nesting would be “empty” and have no direction or drive; worry that we weren’t going to “be there” when something broke; and, rejoicing that they have been and always will belong to the Lord… Perhaps that combination of feelings resonates with you and your family.
Here’s how you can make it! When they are available by phone between classes, jobs, group projects, and study sessions, ask fewer questions of their day, and spend more time listening. “How was your day?” “How was class?” “What’s homework look like tonight?” “Will you be home this weekend, or during break?” are not quite enough to hear their heart. The answers rarely go beyond superficial one-word responses: good, okay, fine, or I don’t know. If the answer does go beyond one word, it may be associated with a sigh or an eye roll.
If this is where your conversation style is right now, change it up! Ask “What are you working on right now, and how may I pray for you for it?” “What’s it like for you living in a room and sharing space, and how may I pray for you?” “What would you like to accomplish in this situation? Tell me how to pray for you best.” These kinds of questions can go a LONGER way with them.
Meet the Author
Tamatha Anthony
Assistant Director
