Fall/Winter 2015 Movie Season Preview

November 9, 2015

The 2015 movie year is nearly over. The late fall/early winter blockbusters will be here soon, while the year’s biggest hits, like Jurassic World and Avengers: Age of Ultron, have fallen like memory leaves in our brain forests, just lying there with the other crappy ones, like Jurassic World and Avengers: Age of Ultron. Ah, this cruel life, as we trod over what was “then” for what will soon be “now.” What’s that you say? The new Star Wars is out in like 40 days?!? Well, what are we waiting for?? Let’s trample all over those dumb memories as we look ahead to the Fall/Winter 2015 Movie Season!

Yes, it’s Star Wars: The Force Awakens’* (Dec. 18) universe, and we’re just a small, Hoth-based, Rebel alliance in it. Many of you have likely downloaded some sort of countdown timer for it, or, Yoda help you, forced yourself to re-watch the Jar-Jar Binks nightmare that is Episodes 1-3 in anticipation of the biggest movie of our time. These are very natural feelings you’re having toward The Force Awakens, and we encourage you to embrace them. Use your aggressive feelings, feel the hatred of other movies flow through you! Yes! Good! GOOD!!***

Actually, there are some other huge movies in the next month and a half that are worth checking out, so don’t go too crazy with the dark side there, kids. In fact, why not start with the very opposite of the dark side at The Peanuts Movie (Nov. 6)? Watch the cartoon stars of MetLife commercials/various holiday parade balloons come to life on the big screen in amazing animation! Charlie Brown will probably try to kick that football again, Snoopy will probably fly his doghouse like a WWI fighter pilot, and the kids’ teacher and/or parents will talk like a muted trombone. There may even be some surprises!

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 2 (Nov. 20) may be the other, most anticipated movie of the year after Star Wars. Mockingjay – Part 2 follows in Part 1’s footsteps, challenging the establishment, daring to use both a dash and a colon in the title, a clear homage to the bravery of Katniss Everdeen herself. WHAT TO WATCH FOR: Don’t miss Donald Sutherland as The Most Interesting Man in Panem, or Julianne Moore as what looks like a fancy ghost.

Pixar is back again, presumably for more of your tears, with The Good Dinosaur (Nov. 25). It’s the story of a prehistoric-looking, grunting boy who shares an adventure with a somewhat sophisticated, talking dinosaur. MOVIE DOUBLE-TAKE: If you replace the boy with Anne Hathaway, you basically get The Intern.

Two, beloved old stories are shocked with Hollywood electricity, revived for blockbuster movie life, and then (probably) harpooned or torched by angry critics: Victor Frankenstein (Nov. 25) and In the Heart of the Sea (Dec. 11). Victor Frankenstein is the name of the scientist. The monster is actually Daniel Radcliffe’s neck beard. In the Heart of the Sea is based on the story which begat Moby Dick and features the can’t-miss, Hollywood magic of adding Chris Hemsworth to the cast. Call me Ishmael…’s wife, AM I RIGHT, LADIES??? (Actually, his movie name is Owen Chase, so I am not at all right, ladies.)

If you love the seventh circle of hell mixed live-action and animated characters on screen, then you’ll want to see Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip (Dec. 18). THE END IS NIGH ALERT: The Road Chip is the FOURTH MOVIE in this series. Why/how? Surely, there are not many puns or days on earth left. Alvin and the Chipmunks: Four Horsemen of the Chip-ocalypse cannot be far behind.

Finally, just in time for the holidays(!), Christmas Day brings us a set of very interesting, not-very-feel-good movies: Concussion and The Revenant (Dec. 25). Concussion looks like it’s going to force Will Smith to act, and with such a relevant topic, the combination may make everyone forget his movie Focus, and maybe, fingers crossed, start to cleanse the stain of After Earth. As for The Revenant, there is no joke. The only possible downside is that the trailer makes it look a little too good. Here’s hoping there is no downside. And here’s hoping you finally get that Oscar, Leo!

There you have it: just a little preview of a fall movie season jam packed full of movies that look like they could be at least pretty good, maybe even very good, but possibly also not so good. It’s our seasonal way of saying “Don’t get your hopes up too much” and “Don’t forget: more than anything, ‘Hollywood’ wants your money.” Now go pre-order those Star Wars tickets and pick your camping spot for The Force Awakens’ premier!