Best Of Coffeehouse
September 30, 2021
The year is 2015. Christmas Coffeehouse is in full-swing and expectations are high as ever. Students don’t come to Coffeehouse for mediocre, they come for memorable, and on this particular December night in the Vines Center, memorable is what they got. Vegan Llamas, the five-piece rock band, enters the stage guns blazing (metaphorically) and heads banging (literally) with dazzling green lights, sleeveless vests, and a keytar. The Richmond-based ensemble rocks out their performance of “The Beautiful Grinchmas”, and the next four minutes and fifty-one seconds is an experience almost too spectacular for words (but that’s why I’m here).
Imagine “You’re A Mean One, Mr. Grinch” meets 80’s electronic rock. The classic Christmas track is belted out over electric guitars and heart-pounding drums. There’s a keytar solo that could nearly bring you to tears. Tongues are wagging, heads are banging, and Santa hats are flinging across the stage. It’s loud, it’s wild, it’s Christmas, it’s…beautiful. Fake snow descends upon picking fingers and the audience erupts into a standing ovation (the only proper response to such an experience). I guess you could say everyone was rockin’ around the Christmas tree.
Along with stunning live performances, Christmas Coffeehouse is also host to many hilarious and clever student-submitted videos. One infamous example is 2017’s “LUPD Bananas on the Rot”. For context for new or transfer students, Liberty at one point had an epidemic (one we don’t recommend bringing back unless you like the smell of rotting fruit) of students throwing bananas on to the roof of the Rot.
The video depicts four Liberty students acting as Liberty University Police Department officers partaking in a good amount of hilarity, such as buying an absurd amount of donuts, stacking multiple parking fines on car windshields, and devising ridiculous strategies for hunting down the student responsible behind the banana vandalism. The four “officers” take turns doing interviews with the camera (“The Office” style) and run around campus garbed in aviators, fake mustaches, and jorts. It’s a genuine masterpiece.
The story reaches its climax when the boys find the banana vandal, only to be easily outran by the student through the academic lawn. The officers hatch a plan to dress as Santa to catch the student in the act and tackle him mid-throw in front of the Rot, bringing the potassium pranking to an end. All in a day’s work.
While I can’t promise a metal cover of “Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer”, or a video of LUPD taking down The Slim’s Chicken Bandit at this year’s Christmas Coffeehouse, I am confident that you will have a night to remember. So, whether you want to be the one creating the masterpiece, or if watching it is more your speed, come on out to the Vines Center on December 4th and prepare to be amazed!
Written by Jordan Hassler
Jordan is a Sophomore studying Event Planning with a Biblical Studies minor. He enjoys expressing his creativity through words, and sharing his experiences and personality by way of writing. He’s passionate about music, nature, and forming genuine connections with others.