Why Do Bad Things Happen to Good People?

• SA Engages

February 25, 2019

Gabi: It was July 5, 2018, when I knew my life was never going to be the same again. I had spent the night before  sleeping in a hospital waiting room with my boyfriend and little sister. At around 7:00 am, my dad woke my sister and I up and I could tell by the look on his face that we would be saying goodbye to our mom today. Sure enough, a few hours later my mom took her very last breath. I cannot even put into words the way that I felt that day. Only a week before, we found out that my mom had a rare skin cancer inside her chest wall, and she would have about two more years to live. How did two years turn into one week? How could this really be God’s plan?

Kaitlyn: It was September 4th, 2018, when I got the call from my parents while I was walking through Montview Student Union. I knew from the missed calls on my phone and the tone of my dad’s voice that this was not the normal “How are you doing?” call. Without hearing the words, I already knew that my brother, Kyle, had passed away. At that moment, there was relief because of the struggle my brother had gone through, but also immense pain and heartbreak. Only two weeks into my semester, I had to face the fact that my life was going to change forever.  The thought of dropping out and going home popped into my head, but I heard my brother’s voice in my head telling me I need to finish strong. Ultimately, I decided that I needed to stay at Liberty and fight through my pain and suffering; I think that is one of my biggest accomplishments. The first month after my brother passed away, I felt constant guilt whenever I had a smile or a good laugh because I thought to myself, “How could I be happy and have fun while something this horrible is going on?” I had to fight through that and learn that the joy I was experiencing was the joy of the Lord. Even though this was the hardest experience to ever happen to me, I have never felt so near to God, and because of that I experienced strength like none other. Ultimately, I was still constantly wondering: why was this God’s plan?

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People are constantly wondering “why bad things happen to good people”. When dealing with death and pain, it is important to remember the life that God desires for us to have. In order to begin this journey of healing, we have to look back in Genesis chapters 1 and 2. In Genesis 1 and 2, we see that God created a perfect world and man in His image. God desired for the world to be filled with life and sinlessness. Genesis 1:31 states, “And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good…” God admired the world that He created because he saw the perfection and beauty within it.

Although God created this world to be perfect, in Genesis 3 we see sin enter into the narrative. Adam and Eve disobeyed the Lord’s commandments and believed that their ways were higher than God’s. Therefore, they listened to the serpent and ate the fruit from the tree of “knowledge of good and evil”. It was man’s own doing that brought sin into the world, not God’s intention. When man sinned, not only did sin enter the world, but so did death. In other words, because we are sinners we deserve death. Thankfully, death is not the end of the story. God sent His Son, Jesus, to die on the cross for our past, present and future sins. Because of this, we are able to have eternal life in Heaven with our Creator. Death is only temporary on this earth and no one is immune to it; however, we are able to accept the free gift of eternal life and salvation from Jesus.

As Christians, we are able to hold onto the hope of what is to come because we have the promise of Jesus, and the battle against death has already been won. Often times, the world views death as depressing, but as Christians, we are able to view death as a celebration because we can recognize that this earth is our temporary home and heaven is our permanent destination. By making Jesus the center of our lives, we are able to have the assurance of knowing where we and the ones we love go after our life on Earth ends.

Although we as believers can rely on the truth that this world is only temporary and Jesus defeated death on the cross, it does not necessarily make losing someone we love any easier. We are given the opportunity to either run towards Jesus in a time like this or to dabble in the ways of the world. The world may appear more attractive and simpler, but the only thing that is going to satisfy our deep sorrow and pain is Jesus. Yes, it still hurts losing someone we love, but through fellowship with the people around us and by intentionally pursuing a relationship with the Lord, we are able to overcome pain from death. When we ask the Lord for something according to His will, as stated in John 15:7, He will equip us with what we need to get through such a time, as long as we choose to abide in Him. God provides undeniable strength and peace because He understands what we are going through. God experienced the pain that comes from death because of the sacrifice of His own Son. He sacrificed His Son so that we no longer have to feel the pain of death; instead, we can rest in His joy.

Eventually, things will get easier and life will start feeling “normal” again.

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Kaitlyn: For me, it took getting back into a routine and going back to activities that I was present in before I lost my brother for life to feel “normal” again. Being in a routine helped me feel like life was constant and unshakable. I tried to surround myself with people that felt like home and made me feel safe and loved. One of the most important things I learned in my grieving was that community is everything. Community comes alongside you and helps you walk when you can’t walk and mourns with you when you are mourning. 

Also, while making new memories was important for me to feel like my life was continuing, it was also crucial for me to remember the good memories I had of my brother. Some of the most important times for me were spent alone because it gave me space to think and pray. It is so easy to get caught up with being busy so we can distract and numb ourselves from the pain we are experiencing, but the best advice I could give to someone is to spend time alone with yourself and God. My journal and my Bible have been two of the most vital things in my life through this season.

Because my brother passed away while I was at school, I had not been home for a consistent amount of time until I went home for Thanksgiving break. That break was difficult because everything at home reminded me of my brother and it finally hit me that he was gone. The “firsts” are always the hardest, and I have to constantly remind myself that it will get easier and the Lord will give me the strength to go on. Even though life starts to feel “normal” again, there are still times when I am sad, which I know is completely normal. An important thing to remember is that mourning looks different for everyone and there is no right or wrong way to process grief. Sometimes sadness will hit you in the weirdest way and at the most random time, but that is okay. Whenever I experience those feelings, I have learned it is better to deal with it right away than to let them boil up and slowly eat away at you. Everyone has a different process of grieving, but it is vital to remember that you need to surround yourself with community, Jesus, and times of solitude.

Gabi: It honestly took a while for life to start feeling “normal” again for me. I had a month left at home before returning back to school, and between planning my mom’s funeral, moving into a new house and starting a new semester and job, it took a while for me to take time to sit down and process everything. In order for life to start to feel “normal” again, it took a lot of tears, prayer, time spent in God’s Word, and the community that my family, friends and hall had to offer. If it was not for being intentional in my relationship with the Lord, I know that I would not be standing where I am today. Honestly, it also took some time for me to figure out God’s plan for my life, and to fully understand why something like this would happen. 

I did not fully understand God’s plan for my life until I started reading the story of Job. Job is a very popular Bible character from the Old Testament. Job had a life full of heartbreak and suffering. Although everything was taken from Job (his wife, his children, his income, his crops, etc.), he still continued to bring God worship and praise. Although I by no means was perfect at praising God through this time in my life, I learned that the more I focused my eyes on God, the more He would reveal his plan for my life and the more I would in turn want to bring Him praise through this time of suffering. Not only is it so crucial to grow deeper in a relationship with God during this time by reading the Bible, journaling and praying, but it is also important to seek out community. God desires for us to be in community with others, and thanks to the people in my life, I was able to move towards a life that is more “normal.”

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As stated earlier, mourning and a normal life looks different for everyone and it will not happen overnight. Holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, etc. are going to be hard (especially the first time around), but eventually things will get easier, thanks to the grace and love of Christ. Therefore, we wanted to include some resources that we found helpful or that were recommended to us and/or are available here at Liberty.

Resources we found helpful:

• Student Counseling Services
• Books
  • Hope for Hurting Hearts; by Greg Laurie
  • Grieving the Loss of Someone You Love; by Raymond Mitsch and Lynn Brookside
  • Helping those in grief: A guide to help you care for others; by H. Norman Wright
  • Surprised by suffering: The role of pain and death in the Christian life; by R.C. Sproul
  • A Grief Observed; by C.S Lewis
  • Why suffering?: Finding meaning and comfort when life doesn’t make sense; by Ravi Zacharias and Vince Vitale
• Community on Campus
  • Community Groups/Hall Leadership
  • LU Shepherd Office
• Many churches that surround Liberty

If you are reading this, and you have not lost someone, but you know someone who has experienced loss and is going through the process of grieving, the best thing to do for them is to simply be there for them. Although it may be uncomfortable and hard to think of the words to say, listen when they need someone to listen and speak when they need some advice. It is okay not to have all of the answers, because the most important thing is to be a constant friend during this time for them.

Another thing to remember is that if you are experiencing the loss of someone you love, you are not alone. There are people all around us who are also mourning, and we may not even know how close they are. One in five children will experience the death of someone close to them by age 18 (Kenneth Doka, Editor of OMEGA, Journal of Death and Dying). There is a lot of loss and pain in this world, which is why there is an even greater need to foster community within our halls, college campus, hometown, etc.

Although losing someone you love to death can be one of the hardest trials in one’s life, we hope this testimony can be an encouragement to you. We want you to know you are not alone, and there is a God that cares about your situation and loves you. You will get through this by the grace of God. We are praying for you!

Resources

The Action Bible Study Bible: ESV. David C. Cook, 2015.

Anyabwile, Thabiti. “105 People Die Each Minute.” The Gospel Coalition (TGC),

The Gospel Coalition, 31 Oct. 2017. https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/105-people-die-each-minute/  .

“Omega: Journal of Death and Dying: Index—Contents of Volume 68, 2013–2014.” OMEGA – Journal of Death and Dying, vol. 68, no. 4, June 2014, pp. 383–385, doi:10.2190/OM.68.4.f.

“Student Counseling Services.” Liberty Journal, Liberty University Online, https://www.liberty.edu/students/student-counseling/

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