Navigating hard conversations: Students learn life skills at Rooted in Resilience workshop April 8

Students learned about steadfastness and joyfulness at the Rooted in Resilience workshop April 8.

Leanne Gifford, director of the Center for Student Thriving, and Sophia Payne, associate director of the Center for Student Thriving, gave a presentation called “Handling Hard Conversations.”

Payne began by discussing James 4:1-3 and how steadfastness is the most important character trait for a student. The passage also discusses how one views hardships and has the opportunity to be joyful even in the midst of hardships.

“When we’re looking through that lens and seeing something like a hard conversation, it’s less overwhelming knowing that there is a purpose behind it,” Payne said.

Gifford continued the presentation by addressing that to understand what a hard conversation looks like, it is essential to recognize what a conversation is, what defines a hard conversation and what tools are needed to handle those types of conversations well.

“Anybody who has been married, has a strong relationship with their family, even parents or siblings, knows that there are times where hard conversations come up,” Gifford said. “If you don’t have the tools, your relationships will not thrive.”

Gifford and Payne also clarified that what must be present during a hard conversation includes disclosing perspectives and opinions, maintaining eye contact, body language and
tone of voice.

“There are so many ways we can misinterpret that digital and virtual communication,”  Gifford said. “When we’re missing the tone of voice, body language and eye contact, there are times where we are going to miss each other, as well as make assumptions on what is being said through that message.”

Gifford explained that a hard conversation is defined by individuals with opposing opinions, emotions running high and potential impact on relationships.

As the hosts were providing tools for the students to use to handle hard conversations, attendees filled out handout papers that encouraged them to reflect on when they had a hard conversation, how it was handled, how they would do it differently and what preparations they would make for future hard conversations.

Upon reflecting on their past conversations and thinking of what they may do differently, Payne said hard conversations are a part of life, but they can also be handled with care. The emotions that arise when in a hard conversation involve anxiety, fear, frustration, anger, worry and doubt.

“Even pride comes into play when you have been wronged,” Payne said. “But Ephesians 4:25-32 is a good place to go when you are considering an approach with grace and love, as well as sustain the fact that there is truth here.”

Payne discussed that when someone walks into a conversation with a prideful attitude or a focus on justice, it will bring destruction, not satisfaction.

“We can’t always avoid broken relationships; that’s the unfortunate part about life,” Payne said. “But we can connect with intentionality.”

Payne also said that speaking in an unwholesome manner behind a person’s back is not what Christ wants.

“Matthew 18:15-20 also gives us a structure for adjusting sinful behavior when within the context of the local church,” said Payne. “However, we do think that these principles constitute a good structure for handling hard conversations in any setting.”

Amaro-Millán is a news reporter for the Liberty Champion