When Things Don’t Go As Planned

September 3, 2021

I want you to picture this. It’s last Spring and Student Activities is hosting an Outdoor Open Mic. We meet at Montview to start setting up, and as we try to use the elevators, we get stopped by none other than a slew of security guards. As it turned out, another event on campus was hosting princesses (how cool is that), and we were not able to have Open Mic outside because it could pose a potential security threat. So, we moved it inside. It turned out to be no big deal, (and the girls working that night ended up giving a pretty spectacular performance of “You Belong with Me” by Taylor Swift) but in the moment it felt quite stressful to have our plans turned upside down.
I’ve found myself in situations like these loads of times; you probably have too. Jobs you thought you were going to have, friendships or relationships you thought would turn out differently, plans falling through: life is full of unexpected circumstances. Sometimes the stakes are smaller, like switching the location of an Open Mic, but sometimes they’re much bigger. The unexpected isn’t all bad either, sometimes the most joyful things in life are surprises. Think of surprise parties, or new friends, or finding out you’re going to be an aunt or uncle.

The unexpected can be hard though. I consider myself to be an easygoing person (most of the time), but to an extent, I think we all desire an amount of control or at least certainty in our lives. From a psychological standpoint, certainty fulfills our inherent need for safety (Siegel). Beyond that, from a Biblical standpoint, we can see that this desire actually comes from a sinful nature. We feel the need for control and safety because we lack trust in He who is able to control it all.

University of Texas professor, Raj Raghunathan argues that losing control can make people happier. He points out that the desire for control creates conflict, heightens blood pressure when that level of control is not attained, and it causes us to sacrifice other things that would bring about happiness (Raghunathan). He suggests people learn to embrace uncertainty and enjoy whatever life brings to the table. And from a Christian perspective, I would say that we should learn to trust whatever God has for us.

My English 102 professor (shoutout Dr. Muller) once said something quite profound that has really stuck with me for the past couple of years. He said something along the lines of, “Why would we try to build our own lives when we can place them in the hands of He who knows how to truly build life?” God created life. He knows how it ought to be lived in its best and most pure sense! Now, this does not always make it easy to place our lives in hands we cannot tangibly see (and it’s okay to ask why or be sad for a time), but we can choose to trust Romans 8, that God really does work all things together for the good of those who love Him and find freedom in letting go.

So, in this case, God working things out for good looked like having a smaller, but more energetic Open Mic. In other unexpected times, it’s looked like having the best Summer in a position I never would have picked for myself and sometimes, it is not knowing why God has done the things He has. So, when things don’t go as planned how great is it that we do not have to have control but can turn to Him who has a plan for all things?

References:

http://changingminds.org/explanations/needs/control.htm

https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_losing_control_make_you_happier

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