Disclaimer: This article is satirical What an insightful question, Professor Smith! I am confident that writing this 300-word response will not only augment my understanding of the material but connect me more closely to my classmates and further my education. While I am sure that your original intent for this assignment was to get me to reflect contemplatively on this […]
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Back by popular demand, the outdoor event commonly referred to as “Lawnvo” will be returning this May, but things will look a little different in the crowd. According to Office of Residence Life Director Dustin Dubose, all fair-skinned students will be issued an excused absence from the event in an effort to prevent a repeat of last year’s event, which […]
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On April 1, Kanye West announced from the Convocation stage that he is running for U.S. president in 2024. “We will change the world. God is on my side. I am a Christian. I am a tax payer. I am myself. God is with us,” Kanye West said. The pop culture icons Kim Kardashian West and Kanye West also emphasized […]
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In light of campus pastor David Nasser expressing the need for students to develop a better understanding of their individual personality types, Liberty University has announced its new Enneagram degree program, which will officially launch in the Fall semester of 2019. According to Nasser, the degree will help students not only learn more about themselves, but also about their brothers […]
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The time was 11:58 a.m., and Tom Strickland was only at the top of the steps in the Vines Center. Two minutes to get to DeMoss for his 12:00 p.m. Old Testament Survey class, and thousands of students stood idle in his way. “As the good student that I am, I waited until the final prayer and dismissal before jumping […]
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With his fresh, unscuffed cleats and ripped tank-top that is intentionally oversized, Chad “Dynamite” Broseph has always looked like a future NFL legend. “I mean I’ve always been an athlete, and I know I have the sneaky quickness that it takes to be a pro receiver,” Broseph said. His pick-up career began in the Fall semester of 2015 when his […]
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Liberty University dormitory Residential Commons III, popularly known as “The Shoe,” was added to a national cult watchlist after reports of students engaging in disturbing activities. According several reports from the Liberty University Police Department, residents of Commons III have been marching from the dorm to the Freedom Tower each night for the past semester, chanting “Shoeee” and occasionally an arrangement of Humble Tip’s “This is Liberty” vaguely resembling a […]
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A group of Liberty University students have proposed a project for the upcoming Research Week that has been deemed unconventional and odd — trying to figure out what the phrase “do life together” actually means. The phrase, commonly used by young evangelicals and old evangelicals who want to sound like young evangelicals, is commonly considered misused and vague, and a team of students have been […]
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Liberty University just announced that a new course, Ring by Spring, will be a requirement on the new Degree Completion Programs for the 2018 fall semester. RBSP 210 will be a workshop-style class, focusing on matching students romantically based on common interests, number of expected children and a one to 10 scale rating how Republican they are. This program guarantees that no Liberty student will graduate […]
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New Testament translations are not the only Greek thing you will find at Liberty University, now that the Alpha Omega Agape fraternity has founded its first chapter. The fraternity was founded at the end of March by seven students who recognized a need for this quintessential college experience — but through the Liberty Way. “I have to be honest, the idea came to us after my friends and I left the prayer chapel one night and walked by the Montview Mansion,” […]
Read moreLiberty University’s Freedom Tower will be renamed as the Nick Foles Tower and will house the Department of Sports Management, Liberty President Jerry Falwell announced April 1. “I am excited to announce that we have found a way to honor one of the greatest athletes with a connection to our school, Super Bowl-winning quarterback Nick Foles,” Falwell said. Lynchburg, Virginia’s newest and highest landmark, the Freedom Tower, officially opened in January 2018, […]
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Liberty University is implementing a FastPass system similar to the one used at Walt Disney World for students wanting to skip the long lines outside of the Vines Center before Convocation. With a Convocation FastPass, students can go straight to getting their bags checked at security and receive a thorough pat down before checking in with their resident assistants. Senior Vice President of Spiritual Development David Nasser is hoping the FastPass will give students a more positive experience with Convocation lines and address their complaints. “Liberty is basically the Disney World of Christian higher […]
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In an unprecedented push for campus security, Liberty University has announced new plans to build a 40-foot wall along east campus to stop what university administrators have called the “mass influx of disorderly students.” Since the completion of the second bridge connecting East Campus with central and south campus, there has been a large increase in the number of East Campus students migrating to Main Campus. “Something has to be done about […]
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Senior biblical studies major Jedidiah Stevens and junior Christian counseling major Esther Williams recently learned that they share more than just a love for hymns, and organic coffee. “It was love at first exegesis of Romans nine,” Stevens proudly proclaimed. The Calvinist couple met at a speed dating event hosted by the Food Court at Reber Thomas on Valentine’s Day. The couple feels that their encounter was predetermined, considering […]
Read moreGrammy award winning artist Chance the Rapper will be attending Convocation at Liberty University this upcoming fall. According to a source from Mr. the Rapper’s camp, the Chicago native is headed to Lynchburg not only to speak but to announce a major detail involving his album slated for a 2018 release. After an interview with him, the truth regarding his […]
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