Lauren’s Library Nook: Outdated

When I read self-help books, it’s usually because I’m going through a season of life where I need some extra encouragement, as they help me grow as an individual, especially in my spiritual life.

Last year I went through a season of heartbreak and heartache. It’s hard being a college student with a full class workload while also dealing with an internal pain that drains your mental health. I needed some encouragement to say the least.

So, I came across the author Jonathan Pokluda and his recently published book (at the time) “Outdated.” The book is all about relationships and centers around the saying, “Find love that lasts when dating has changed.”

It served as a great lesson for my new season of life. JP took the secularized concept of dating and made it into one that is simple and honors the Lord.  

The book consists of three parts: why we date, who we date and how we date. Each chapter surrounds a topic, which includes a common myth about that topic and debunks it with truth rooted in Scripture. 

Chapter three, “The One,” was my favorite part of the book and not only spoke to me the most but gave me hope beyond my situation.

It specifically speaks about the common lie that in our lifetime we must hope to find the one person that was created for us. That lie, one that culture often glorifies, places a great deal of pressure on the dating scene: to find your soulmate with over seven billion people living in the world. 

For most of my life, I believed this lie: that there was one person in the world who was meant for me. However, I have seemed to come up short and disappointed — every time.

JP counteracts this lie with truth that has radically shifted how I view dating and marriage. He reveals that there are many people in the world you could choose and who would work well in marriage. In other words, you are compatible with more than one person — and each one could make just as good of a spouse as the other.

I love when JP gives the example of him and his wife and how there are other people in the world that could be more compatible for them. He says, “We’re never going to search for anybody else. We don’t need to find anyone else. We married each other, and so we belong to each other for the rest of this life. In that very real way, we are ‘the one’ for each other — not because of some predestined magical reason, but because we choose to be.”

Being immersed in Liberty’s dating culture, with the beloved “ring by spring” trend, can unintentionally create pressure to find a spouse in the four or so years that students spend here. I have felt that pressure at some point, and it has surfaced doubt and even fear of leaving college — potentially single. Not only does “Outdated” address singleness, but it highlights it as a gift from God and not just a wasted
waiting period. 

In chapter two, JP says about the gift of singleness, “You will never be more uninhibited, more available, and more ready to serve God than you are right now as a single person. You’ll never have more time or fewer responsibilities. You’ll never have more freedom or a greater opportunity to take chances and risk something for the gospel.”

Everybody desires to be loved, and in a season of singleness, it can cause insecurities to arise and create a sense of loneliness even though the world hasn’t stopped in the slightest. But once again, this book goes against the grain of secular dating culture and goes with what God is calling us to, preparing us for  any stage of life.

So, if you’re single, going through heartbreak or dating, I recommend reading “Outdated,” as I feel that you could find value in the message that two godly people can make a commitment to each other in a way that honors God.

For me, “Outdated” has taught me that dating is simple and can lead to a blessed marriage, but it starts with two people who love and live life for Jesus.   

Shank is the Editor-in-Chief. Follow her on Twitter