Column: Couch’s Corner

I would like to preface this column by saying that I am not an expert on dating. In light of the university’s recent Campus Community series centered around various types of relationships, though, I believe this column about a healthy Christian dating perspective is appropriate. 

A healthy Christian dating perspective desires to find someone who elevates Christ over their boyfriend or girlfriend. 

Others can be loved best when Christ is loved and exalted most.

“Put on then as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony” (Colossians 3:12-14).

This passage discusses traits that should be seen in followers of Jesus in daily life. If implemented, these verses can significantly assist in forming a healthy Christian dating perspective.

The world values image the most in dating. The problem with obtaining a significant other based on image alone is that the relationship will be contingent on the other’s physical appearance. With age, hair will grey and smooth skin will wrinkle. But if a Christian’s primary focus in deciding who they seriously date is centered around godly character and a heart that is seeking Jesus daily, then those factors will grow more potent as the person grows closer to Christ.

If one is walking hand in hand with Christ, attraction will begin to mean so much more than feeling enticed towards a fit body and attractive features. Can a believer still be drawn to a pretty face and fit physique and not be in sin? Certainly.

Dating someone you find physically attractive is wise. Attraction adds to the excitement one feels in dating and is a God-given feeling. Christian dating couples should filter these feelings through biblical boundaries that are put in place to maintain purity before marriage. If both boyfriend and girlfriend share a love for the Lord, then godliness will enhance the attraction felt towards the other.

“Godliness is sexy to godly people,” Pastor Matt Chandler said in an article written for Desiring God website.

The above quote is so true. If you admire someone’s godly character, respect their love for God and are physically attracted to them, only then should you consider dating that person. 

There is something to be said for those who are gentle and kind to everyone they come in contact with. Not feeling the need to scan every room entered for a potential date but rather knowing in his or her mind the biblical traits to look for in a potential significant other will allow for mental relaxation and the genuine self to be displayed. This mindset will be beneficial in discerning someone’s true character opposed to just feeling attracted to the person’s appearance. 

The product of a Christ-centered dating relationship is beautiful to witness. 

The healthiest marriages can often be traced back to both of the spouses exemplifying a healthy Christian dating perspective in their younger years. In dating, they prioritized the other person’s spiritual well-being over gratifying their own desires, and they understood that strong individual relationships with the Lord would lead to greater intimacy together. They did not allow their relationship status to become their identity. 

The fruit of these marriages is love and admiration for each other that stems from a greater love that both spouses have for Christ. 

For the unmarried, may this finished product of dating done well lead to the pursuit of marriage through the lense of a healthy Christian dating perspective.