From the Desk

The 4.4 million viewers that tuned in to TLC’s “19 Kids and Counting” two weeks ago for Jill and Derick Dillard’s wedding probably noticed that the couple did things a little differently. From the Arkansas couple’s first kiss and first frontal hug coming after their “I dos,” to the 1,000 people in attendance, the first of the Duggar girls’ weddings was definitely unique.

But the distinctive qualities of the marriage stretched beyond the ceremony and reception. Jill and Derick Dillard chose to enter into a covenant marriage.

While every state has its own form of marriage license, only three allow for covenant marriages — Arkansas, Arizona and Louisiana. Although covenant marriages reflect biblical concepts, this type of marriage is more than just a binding contract.

Instituted in 2001, Arkansas’ covenant marriage statute carries several more requirements than traditional marriage licenses, according to an article in the Arkansas Times. In addition to the condition of premarital counseling, the statue also makes it harder for couples to divorce. According to Northwest Arkansas’ Center for Healthy Relationships, a couple may seek a divorce only after receiving counseling and only for reasons of adultery, abuse or the commission of a felony or major crime by the spouse, or in cases in which couples have been living separate and apart for a specified period of time, which varies based on the case.

Although covenant marriages are not the most popular choice among engaged couples in Arkansas — only 1,936 covenant licenses were issues compared to 315,943 traditional licenses between 2002 and 2010 — I applaud Jill and Derick Dillard for their unusual choice and would hope for more couples to follow their lead.

A covenant marriage boils down to a lifelong commitment to stay with your spouse — exactly what couples express in their vows. “For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.” Even though those words vary from couple to couple, last I checked, they are typically not followed by “except if I get tired of you, disagree with you, get annoyed with you or do not like you as much as I used to.”

The difference between covenant and traditional marriages lies primarily in the grounds for divorce. In marriage, couples should be so committed to one another, so full of unconditional love for each other, that they should not worry about the “what-ifs” of the future and the possibilities of divorce. If you are considering those possibilities, you may need to reevaluate whether you are ready to enter into a marriage.

I am not saying that divorce is always wrong. There are definitely circumstances that warrant divorce, and a covenant marriage does not prohibit divorce in those cases.

Additionally, I do not hold those bound by a covenant marriage in higher regard than those who have traditional marriages. But if you are going to start a new family with that person, why not commit fully to that relationship through a covenant marriage?

To those hoping to get married in Arkansas, Louisiana or Arizona, why not sign on to a covenant marriage? Be all in, not worrying about how hard it may be to get a divorce if something goes wrong in the future. And to those across the nation already in traditional marriages and those hoping to enter into this kind of marriage, aim to stay fully committed to your spouse even in the hard times instead of thinking of how you may possibly get out in the future.

Brown is the editor-in-chief