Breaking their silence

Resident Assistants share their thoughts on all of the negative stereotypes

“I’m not out to get you.”

leadership — Resident Assistants hope to set a good example for their halls. Photo credit: Leah Seavers

Leadership — Resident Assistants hope to set a good example for their halls. Photo credit: Leah Seavers

As a Resident Assistant (RA), Sally Ann Edwards feels like she has to speak these words on a daily basis. When she became an RA at Liberty University in the spring of 2014, she knew she would have to overcome some of the negative preconceptions people have of RAs.

After all, almost every student who has attended Liberty has heard horror stories of uptight, power-hungry, rep-giving RAs. Tales of RAs watching students’ every move, stalking them in the shadows in an attempt to catch them in the act of violating “The Liberty Way.” To some uninformed students, it could seem like the life of an RA is one of power and control.

It is not.

Edwards argues that, contrary to popular belief, the RA position is one of demanding responsibility. To her, the allure of the RA position was not to put her in a position in which she could create enemies, but to put her in a position in which she could resolve conflicts and
mend relationships.

“I had a lot of RAs and upper leadership working with me through different issues, and seeing how graciously they handled (conflict) inspired me to do just as well,” Edwards said.

According to Kaitlyn Young, an RA on the Commons, the role is more of a service position than a leadership position.

“It’s not like I get points for writing people up,” Young said. “It’s not for me. (I have to say to students) ‘This is for you and to develop you as a person and spiritually.’”

Organizing and planning events, staying up until curfew to check on the residents, ensuring the emotional and physical well-being of the students and reducing conflict are just a few of the RAs’ responsibilities.

Daniel Kromidas, a senior RA, thinks that building relationships with the students is the most appealing aspect of being an RA.

“I chose to be an RA because when I walked on the hall as a freshman, I saw a tremendous example by the guys who were in leadership, specifically my two RAs,” Kromidas said. “These were guys who loved you, who cared for you. They listened to you. They wanted to get lunch with you and just made you feel very welcome.”

Paul Stanton, the male Resident Director (RD) on the square of East Campus, said anyone who gets involved with student leadership needs to love people.

“For personal connections, you have to get to know the person, you have to meet them on common grounds somewhere,” Stanton said. “For example, if they are into sports, get interested in sports. If they love video games, get interested in video games. Ninety percent of anything is showing up and showing you care.”

Young agreed that building relationships with the students is the most important aspect of being an RA, but she does not consider it the easiest, especially when it comes to the conflict of maintaining friendships and upholding “The Liberty Way.”

“Within the hall, I think the only struggle is people assuming that if you are their friend, that (despite you being) an RA, they can do whatever they want,” Young said.

“I would definitely want to be everyone’s best friend, so it’s just kind of finding the balance and saying ‘Yes, I want to be your friend and have this relationship with you, but you can’t cross these lines.’ I think once they understand that, it ends up being OK.”

Young and Kromidas both said that the way RAs respond to students acting out of conduct is handled on a case-by-case basis.

“From what I’ve heard from other RAs, they are definitely talking about how it’s not about the letter of the law, but the spirit of it, and that the relationship is more important than the rule,” Young said. “I think it’s just ineffective if the only thing you are focusing on is the rule instead of sitting down with them and being like, ‘I honestly don’t care if you dress incorrectly, it’s not like this is the main goal. I care that you are able to follow a rule for your future.’”

According to Kromadas, there is a consensus among RAs that female RAs have a tougher time than male RAs when conflict arises with a resident.

“I’m actually dating a female RA,” Kromadas said. “She shares lots of experiences with the challenge of connecting to other girls. Guys can get in an argument, or a verbal fight or a disagreement and an hour later they will be fine. They’ve already forgotten about it. They’ve already moved on. But when communicating with girls, the female RAs have a tougher time with the way girls interact. They take things more personally.”

While Edwards thinks that male students tend to be more reckless in the moment, she agrees that females take conflicts with RAs more personally and are more likely to hold a grudge over time.

“You’re not going to deal with some of the craziness that you do on guys’ halls, but there’s high-strung emotions and cattiness and a level of revenge-seeking activities that they engage in,” Edwards said. “It’s a lot easier for guys to separate, ‘Oh, you wrote me up last week, but you’re still cool.’ But with girls, it’s like, ‘You wrote me up last week, you must be evil and have something against me.’”

However, Young said it is easier to connect with girls because they will openly share their hearts and feelings.

“It’s easier for girls to get close emotionally,” Young said. “If a girl is crying, she’s running into the RA room whether she knows it or not. A guy would be less likely to do that for their pride or their manhood or whatever.”

Edwards, who is currently working on her master’s in strategic communications, believes the higher standard of RA life may be beneficial to her future career as well as her personal growth.

“Everything you do is on display, and it holds you to a higher level,” Edwards said. “Even if I didn’t have accountability with my RD, just the fact that I am an RA, you have to have your act together, otherwise you won’t be respected.”

To relate more to the students, Edwards tries to connect with them more as a person rather than an RA.

“Not that I’m ashamed of it, but I just don’t bring (that I’m an RA) up in normal conversations,” Edwards said. “I don’t broadcast it because it’s something I do. It’s not who I am, and people sometimes have a hard time seeing past that.”

JANNEY is the asst. news editor.

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