“Words are women, deeds are men.” George Herbert
We built a new home last year and we heard from many people, “if your marriage can survive building a home, it can survive anything”. Jhon and I always enjoyed laughing at those comments, because after 19 years together, we’ve survived plenty.
In some ways I suppose this is an open letter of appreciation to my husband who has been a little down and hard on himself lately. In the last couple of months he’s been hit by a few blows, mainly that his Dad has aggressive cancer. So as we are together facing this next round of crisis that life has given us, I’ve been finding myself reflecting on what makes our house a home and what brings me no greater earthly peace, and it’s simple - my husband, Jhon. I actually feel quite foolish that I’ve missed that at times in my life, but in reflection, he was ALWAYS there keeping me afloat.
He's just a great man! Over our 19 years TOGETHER, he has shown his love to me in countless ways. I wouldn’t even know how to express how much he shows his love in his actions. Of course he’s always done it in the “typical” ways that women would think about, taking care of me while I did my doctoral studies, taking care of the home, the children… but that would be just scratching the surface. And where many women would probably still be jealous of how good I have it just from the way he takes care of his family, there’s so much more. He was a man that took care of my Grandma in her last days. He is a man that doesn’t just do our dishes, but does my Mom’s dishes on most Sundays. He was man that would not only mow our lawn, but the lawns of my single-mother friends’, not because he was asked, but just because he saw it needed to be done. And to our foster children, and to other children without a father, he shared his life, music, restaurants, movies, video games… on and on I could go… as I believe he modeled to them what it meant to be a man in his deeds. And he did all these things often with little appreciation, sadly, even from me.
And he doesn’t even miss the “little things” like making me coffee in the morning, grinding the coffee in the garage as to not wake me up, giving me times with the girls to go out, packing the kids lunch in the morning… oh, it’s just endless. It makes me feel so unworthy to think of how great I have it!
So as I know he’s going through a difficult time in his life, I think it’s important for him to know that I KNOW he’s the best and I’m so incredibly honored and spoiled that God chose him for me. And when life has been tough for both of us at varying times in our life, we always knew and will always know the one thing that matters – TOGETHER - “you don’t have to go it alone”. And with that, life can suddenly appear “perfect”….