Apr 17, 2007
Weddings the easy way: the laissez-faire approach to being a groom
by Erin Fitch, News Reporter
It’s a quiet afternoon, and I watch the sunlight catch the intricate tunnels of the diamond that sits on my left ring finger — a spray of tiny rainbowed dots litter the walls of my bedroom.
Like other soon-to-be brides, I had spent hours lingering over bridal magazines, picking out the perfect color scheme for my wedding, delving through the most charming bridesmaids dresses and meticulously sizing up every seemingly perfect Cinderella gown.
Fast approaching is the day I have envisioned all my life. I know it will be perfect, and everything about it will be just as I’ve dreamed.
That ideal then took a dive off a rocky cliff when I logged back on to the David’s Bridal “Dress Your Wedding” virtual program and saw what my fiancé had done to my perfect set-up. I asked him to look at the dresses I had handpicked for my virtual bridesmaids and suggested he dress up his own virtual groomsmen with tuxedos of his choice.
What fell across my screen, however, was a perfect travesty — he had a field day throwing random scarves, capes, gloves, ties and belts on the whole wedding party like it was some practical joke.
I didn’t think it was funny.
The sage words of Dr. Ergun Caner, not only Dean of Liberty Seminar but also relationship savant, then echoed in my mind from a sermon preached in February, entitled “Love, Lies, and Landmines.”
“When it comes to the wedding: Men, shut your mouth. Stand where she tells you to stand. Wear what she tells you to wear. Say what she tells you to say. Shut up! You don’t have an opinion.”
Dr. Caner orated truth from the pulpit when he made such a statement. Men truly do not care about the big day. Those who love their brides know that a nod and a smile throughout the whole engagement is all they need to score big points and let her be happy.
The universality of this stereotype rang a bell with Liberty alum Alicia Wotring, who has experienced this sort of impasse with her fiancé, Rob Sisk.
“Rob has taken a very hands-off approach to the wedding, and honestly, that’s fine by me,” she said in regards to her up-coming nuptials this June. The couple worked together on “The Liberty Champion” and both graduated last year.
Alicia reports for the Harrisonburg Daily News-Record in Harrisonburg, Va., while Rob works in nearby Waynesboro, Va. on the sports desk.
Luckily, Alicia had a preview of Rob’s personal tastes in regards to weddings before their engagement. On the return home from a friend’s wedding, Rob felt inclined to point out things he both liked and disliked — but mostly disliked.
“No kids under three, he said, no electric slide at the reception,” said Alicia with a laugh. “And the one thing he really didn’t want to do was the invitations.”
“The way I see it is, I’m a guy — the wedding doesn’t mean as much to me as it does to her,” said Rob in response. “I just figured if I stayed out of the way, that would let her have the wedding of her dreams.”
A former news editor for the Champion, Rob has the type of personality that tells it like it is and asserts himself to get the job done. But when it comes to Alicia’s wedding, Rob knew early to back off.
“From the moment I started thinking about it,” Rob said, “I knew I didn’t want to be involved. When I get involved, I have to take control and what I want doesn’t matter.”
Although Alicia may argue that what Rob wants does indeed matter, the couple now laughs about the adventure they shared while in the red-spotted halls of Target, nobly endeavoring on the commonplace ritual of registering.
As Alicia and Rob picked out items, what soon unfolded can only be described as miscommunication. Since the couple had each lived on their own, they both had common things, and registering was a way for them to get what Alicia calls “fun things.”
“Her idea of registering and my idea of registering weren’t the same,” Rob chuckled. “I thought we were supposed to be going around scanning ‘dream items.’”
Those “dream items” Rob picked out for their registry nearly cost the two a day of civility. A frustrated Alicia watched hopelessly as Rob scanned everything from a fishing pole to a costly Playstation3.
“He was going nuts,” said Alicia, “He even wanted to put a $300 leather chair on our registry!”
Rob then testified that one of the last straws for Alicia was when he scanned a Barbie doll as a joke, but again — she didn’t think it was funny.
But along the way to the altar, the two have learned how to make a few things fun for the both of them.
“I’m excited about the reception,” said Rob. With his father as the best man, and both of his and Alicia’s brothers as groomsmen, Rob looks forward to the reception as an important time with each other’s families and of course, with one another.
Alicia even gave her soon-to-be hubby a choice between two themes of groom’s cakes—NASCAR or Dallas Stars, his favorite hockey team.
“I decided I wanted a Mike Modano cake, with the edible photograph and everything. I’m not a very serious person — I have a hard time being serious.”
So, to brides—hear these words from Rob, and may they comfort you. The next time you log onto David’s Bridal and see how your loving fiancé has once again spewed creativity all over the bridesmaid’s dresses, just remember Rob and Alicia in Target and know he means no harm.
Contact Erin Fitch at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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