May 2, 2006
10 ways you know you are a senior
by Robert Sisk
One week from graduation and senioritis has set in — big time. After four years and 20 parking tickets, I am ready for the real world. In fact, I was ready about three months ago. Everything since then has just been a formality, which brings me to my next point. I know top 10 lists are corny, but frankly, I am a senior and at this point I just want to do the least amount of work possible. So ladies and gentlemen, I bring you the top 10 ways you know you are a senior:
1. You have received so many parking tickets you begin to look for those yellow notes of doom on your car when you leave Wal-mart.
2. Eight weeks into the semester, you still don’t know when your classes begin. You just show up and pray that there was no homework for that day.
3. You still call Campus North “that Ericcson factory,” or as I like to call it “Campus North, formerly known as the Main Campus Annex, formerly known as Ericcson, formerly known as I-did-not-even-know-there-was-a-building-over-there.”
4. You still have nightmares of Danny Lovett’s toupee attacking you and screaming “Jesus is what?” if you did not memorize your memory verse that day.
5. Instead of doing your homework, you begin to negotiate with your teacher which homework you are and are not going to do, because after all, you are a senior.
6. You cannot get through a day without saying, “I hate freshman, I remember when I came here...”
7. There is a pile of khakis sitting in your room left over from the days when jeans were not allowed. (Yeah, so the next guy I hear complain about having to cut his hair, just remember there was a time when you could not just step out of an American Eagle catalog and come to class.)
8) Putting soap in the fountain is no longer funny; it is annoying. Just once I would like to sit by the fountain and have it working while I am skipping class.
9. Every time you see a freshman you say, “I did not look that young when I came here,” shortly followed by, “And what happened to the Ashtray (the octagon shaped depression in Fine Arts that was once a student hang out)? Seriously, where did it go? They put soap in the fountain again and I need somewhere to sit during CMIS.”
10. Lastly you have memorized Dr. Falwell’s “BHAG” and “I walked every foot of this mountain” sermons — backwards.
OK. That is my last responsibility as Liberty Champion news editor. I hope you enjoyed it. If not, oh well, I am a senior.
But all joking aside, I would like to thank a couple of people. Dr. Lyster, thank you for showing me that writing is more than just something that teachers do to punish you. Mrs. Huff, thank you for the guidance you have given me over the last two years and showing me that a Christian journalist is not an oxymoron.
Contact Robert Sisk at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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