Nov 17, 2009
A turkey’s right to sue
by Tim Mattingly
Year after year, Turkey gobblers wobble to the slaughter. It is a scene of annual annihilation, painted every November. The artists are American bellies and their tools are the axe and the oven.
Every Thanksgiving, the Turkey body-count rises and nobody cares, until now.
President Barack Obama’s regulatory czar, Cass Sunstein, cares so much that he believes animals should have the right to sue humans, according to Fox News. While Sunstein promised not to push his animal rights agenda, it remains to be seen how he handles the upcoming ethnic cleansing of Turkeys.
But an attack on Thanksgiving dinner is an attack on America itself but also set the value of animal life equal with that of human kind. Or as recent events would seem, elevate animals above humans.
During Thanksgiving week, the president will pardon a turkey. But during Pro-Life week, a human was put to death by lethal injection. Sure, the individual condemned to the afterlife was known as the D.C. sniper and randomly murdered 10 Americans.
These Thanksgiving table staples fester with diseases such as the avian flu, which has killed hundreds of human beings. The Thanksgiving axe is just a form of repayment for Turkey crimes against humanity.
But if turkeys want the same rights as humans, then so be it. For their crimes and acts of biological warfare against mankind, turkeys should be held responsible. Until that day, the Thanksgiving dinner table will be America’s judge, jury and executioner.
Contact Tim Mattingly at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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